An Open Adoption Story

She was born the cherished child of two sets of parents who love her more than either can express. That their paths crossed was both a matter of chance and an enormous blessing. Her parents agonized about the timeliness of her impending birth, and in their anguish, formulated a plan, choosing to give her the gift of life and a future in a family that they themselves could not offer. This is how Mia became the child of a loving adoptive family who readily opened their hearts and home to her and then, chose to leave the doors wide open so that her birth parents and sister could remain in her life.

Mia's destiny was uncertain the day Sarah, her prospective adoptive mother, placed a tentative phone call to the LSS Adoption office, telling us about a young couple she knew, barely out of high school, struggling to "make it" on their own, and expecting their second baby when their first daughter wasn't yet a year of age. This couple had asked Sarah and her husband, who were wrestling with infertility, to adopt their baby.

Cassie and Phil were indeed young in years, but also strong, intelligent and mature. A determined pair, they were unafraid of hard work, and they focused clearly on their goals. Both lacked the support of nurturing family relationships and were for all practical purposes alone in the world until they found each other. Now the two function as one, drawing on each other's strengths, supporting each other's weaknesses, completing each other. Together, they were committed to meeting the needs of their children in ways they wished theirs had been met.

Overwhelmed with the responsibility of meeting expenses and caring for their baby, they were nonetheless articulate in sharing hopes for both their infant daughter and their unborn child. Cassie and Phil worked long hours on opposite shifts to share responsibilities of childcare. Neither felt capable of stretching themselves further. They feared that both children would suffer and that neither would receive the care and attention they deserved. Then Phil learned of a co-worker's own adoption. He spoke warmly and positively of his experience as an adoptee, a surprise to Phil who had many false impressions about adoption. The co-worker and his wife, Kneil and Sarah, were hoping to adopt a child soon.

Things began to fall into place quickly. A flurry of activity followed as Sarah and Kneil completed a home study while maintaining contact with Phil and Cassie to keep abreast of the pregnancy and their planning. Cassie and Phil hoped for an open adoption arrangement that included visitation rather than the simple provision of letters and photographs. Sarah, a psychologist by profession, knew that research supports openness in adoption as optimal for the child. This was the kind of adoption she hoped to accomplish, so she and Kneil agreed to an open adoption arrangement.

With the help of their LSS counselor, Cassie and Phil reviewed alternative plans for their baby. They considered the social, legal and emotional aspects of adoption and they concluded that placement in adoption would indeed best assure their baby a stable and secure future.

The two couples forged a warm, caring and respectful relationship. Sarah was present at Mia's birth, and both women wept with joy at her arrival. The two men celebrated the birth as well, an atmosphere of love, compassion, and generosity prevailing throughout the hospital stay. Mia was placed in the arms of her new parents upon discharge from the newborn nursery and the two couples left the hospital together, each certain that a miracle had taken place.

Cassie and Phil will always remain a part of Mia's life. As a psychologist and a sensitive adoptive mother, Sarah encourages their contacts. As both an adoptee and adoptive father, Kneil is supportive of the openness in their arrangement. Phil sees himself in the role of a doting uncle, and Cassie comfortably and happily visits the family to interact with Mia and her sister. For the staff of LSS, it has been an honor to bear witness to the birth and open adoption of baby Mia and to the selfless dedication to her future wellbeing by two loving families.

Mia with her adoptive mother, her birthmother, and her birth sister.