CHINA - International “Older Child” Adoption

Last night, I was driving Macy to get shoes. It was dark out. We were on a long country road. She was behind me in the car seat. We were listening to Chinese music that we bought at one of the temples in China. Beautiful music.

Macy said, “This makes me think of China. It makes me a little sad.”

I said, “Oh, I’m sorry, do you want me to turn it off?”

Macy: “No. I like it. It makes me think of China ... it makes me a little sad.”

I said, “You know, it is OK if you feel a little sad sometimes. Sometimes we feel happy, sometimes we feel sad. It is OK if you feel sad sometimes. One day, we will all go to China again for a visit. You, me, Daddy, Zachary and Christian. Just for a visit. Would you like that?”

Macy: “Yes.”

After a long pause, Macy said, “I don’t want to get married.”(She always tells us she does not want to get married because she wants to stay with us. We say she can stay with us all the time, not to worry.)

I said, “When you are big, you might want to get married and have children. You will bring the children to see me, and I will love them so much. I will be so happy to see you and your children.”

Macy: “I don’t want to get married because I want to take care of you.”

I said, “You don’t have to take care of me. I can take care of myself. You don’t have to worry about me.”

Macy: “But I WANT to. I want to take care of you and Daddy because you take care of me. You love me and never be mean to me. I want to take care of you when you are old.”

Now the tears are running down my cheeks. Thank goodness she can not see me from the back seat, in the dark.

I said, “I will never be mean to you because I love you. You are my daughter. I will never be mean to Zach or Christian, either. You are my children. I love you. I could never be mean to you.”

Macy: “That’s right, we are a family. We love each other. We take care of each other.”
(Pause)
Macy: “This music makes me a little sad.”

I said, “Do you ever wish you could go back to China?” (Just fishing here.)

Macy: “Yes … with my mommy, and my daddy, and Zachary, and Christian … for a visit.”

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