Adoption News

ALL IN THE FAMILY

Couple found home wasn't complete until they adopted

By Ann DeMatteo, Assistant Metro Editor

July 8, 2005

NORTH HAVEN - Jonah, an affectionate and happy almost-3-year-old, nuzzles against his mother, hugging and giggling, as his brothers and a cousin play in the pool.

He runs into the house and comes back to the deck to give her another hug.

Hugging a woman he could call mother wasn't something Jonah experienced until he came to the United States on May 17, 2004, when his adoptive parents, Mary Jean and Andrew Redenti, brought him home from China.

The Redentis, who have two biological sons and anther, Joshua, whom they adopted from Russia, thought their family was not yet complete when they contact the Connecticut adoption offices of Lutheran Social Services in October 2003.

This time, they wanted to adopt a child with special needs.

"We wanted to give a child a home who would not otherwise have one," Mary Jean Redenti said.

They learned about Jonah, who was on a waiting list, and got him seven months after applying.

When you adopt a child, you need to be prepared for what the child brings," said Andrew Redenti, a physical therapist who grew up in New Haven.

In 2000, the Redentis adopted Joshua through Lutheran Social Services, and it turned out he had developmental delays.

Mary Jean Redenti describes Jashua, almost 6, as a "great, wonderful kid. He's challenging, but look at how many people have challenging kids."

"He's the best thing that could have happened to us, so we decided we wanted to give other children a home, and that we'd take on one with a physical disability," she said.

Their adoption specialist, Jennifer Phillips, matched them up with Jonah, who does not have a left hand. Mary Jean Redenti said she's pretty sure his hand didn't form properly in utero.

Redenti, a registered nurse who works two days a week at the Hospital of Saint Raphael, said a lot of people have misconceived ideas about adoption and what it's like to adopt a child with special needs.

The children with special needs who are waiting to be adopted in China often don't have things seriously wrong with them, she said.They may have a correctible condition, such as a cleft lip and palate or orthopedic problems.

Other children have congenital birth defects, or heart, lung or liver problems, according to Lutheran Social Services officials.

In 2002, the China Center For Adoption Affairs authorized Lutheran Socail Services to find homes for babies and young children with special needs. It is on a roster of selected agencies able to place [China's] waiting children with special needs.

"Some of these kids are available for adoption and others will never leave the orphanages. There are simply too many kids and not enough families to adopt them," Said Penny Phillips, an adoption advocate with Lutheran Social Services in Rocky Hill.

Recently, the Chinese government announced a three-year humanitarian effort, called the Tomorrow Plan, to raise $72 million for surgeries to improve the lives of 30,000 disabled children living in orphanages, Phillips said.

Today, Jonah lives in a large Colonial home on Clintonville Road with his three brothers, two cats and plenty of toys and games.

The family goes to church every Sunday and gets together regularly with an extended family that includes grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles.

"The most important thing is family," said Mary Jean Redenti, who with her husband believes that a stable home enables kids to just be kids.

"Our generation has kind of lost that," said Andrew Redenti, who admists that he likes to keep the "old ways" of doing things so kids can enjoy their childhood.

"There's a lot of humor in this house. We have fun and laugh," said Mary Jean Redenti.

The Rendetis, who have been married for 12 years, feel they are making a difference on a small scale, and they are also teaching their biological sons, Andrew, 11, and Benjamin, 9, about tolerance, diversity and being grateful for what you have.

"I think we're teaching them to realize that, just because you may not be considered normal, you still have value. You're still an individual with value and meaning. It teaches then not to judge by external looks," Andrew Redenti said.

"You live by example," Mary Jean Redenti said.

The younger Andrew said he loves is brothers.

"They just make life funnier," he said.

To find out more about China's Tomorrow Plan, visit www.china.ccaa.org . To learn about Lutheran Soical Services, visit  www.adoptlss.org